Trouble is always watching
Be it day or night
Dusk or dawn
Be it gloomy or bloomy
You’re always in his view
When time comes
It strikes down tons
“Beware the trouble”
People say
But trouble still slays
Not once shall they escape the wrath
And more than once will they bathe in it
Mourning shall be heard through the skies
Louder and louder; the voices shall rise
Ignored till the sorrowing dies
Trouble oh trouble chuckle a while
Please stop ruining lives by brewing fights
What have they done to you
Other than run from you
Trouble oh trouble cease to befuddle my affairs
Why do you claw them when they squaw
What joy do you get from all this cloy
Why don’t you resign and celebrate with wine
Why don’t you let us live in bliss
After all you shall not be missed
Explanation
I have gone through many troubles in life, some were really bad while other were not as much. At times I was blamed for when it wasn’t even my mistake and this had ruined many of my relationships with many friends and even my own siblings. Many of the lines in the poem may make no sense to the reader because most of them relate to me. For example, in the second stanza it says “Louder and louder; the voices shall rise Ignored till the sorrowing dies”, and the second line may make no sense because I was talking about how I get blamed a lot and when i reject this accusation put on me everyone ignores me because they think I am lying.
Dear Muhammad,
Wow! What a poem. Your writing never fails to amaze me. First of all, the title itself was an amazing hook as I could hear in my mind me constantly repeating it. The poem is written with great passion and you related it to yourself well. I liked the rhyme schemes embedded in the poem because they made the words flow off my tongue nicely. The way you refer to trouble as a person was amazing and very clever.
Something to improve on would be a slightly longer explanation that brings up a few more meaningful parts of the poem. Also, you could consider adding punctuation to enhance the piece.
In conclusion, your writing was incredible and I applaud you for your work. I look forward to reading your next works.
Sincerely,
Zain
Dear Zain,
First of all I would like to thank you for taking the time for going through and giving me some constructive feedback to improve. Also thank you for noticing the creativity that I had put into this piece of mine and I definatly agree with your suggestion.And next time I will include a longer explanation and add meaning to my pieces.
Thank you,
Sincerely,
Muhammed